Lexapro is a selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor (SSRI). This means that while you are on it, it keeps your synapses full of serotonin, keeping your receiving neurons constantly stimulated, making you feel groovy. Great for depression! From the Wikipedia article:
In the central nervous system, serotonin is believed to play an important role in the regulation of anger, aggression, body temperature, mood, sleep, vomiting, sexuality, and appetite. Low levels of serotonin may be associated with several disorders, namely increase in aggressive and angry behaviors, clinical depression, obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), migraine, irritable bowel syndrome, tinnitus, fibromyalgia, bipolar disorder, anxiety disorders[citation needed] and intense religious experiences[1].
I've been taking Lexapro for about 3 years now for clinical depression. Maybe 4. Too lazy to look up when I started taking it. Nevertheless, I am hoping that I still have the chance to recover -- from what it has done to me and from the withdrawl syndrome that I am expecting. I have been on a 10 mg dosage since the 3rd week, after a 5 mg startup. I have resisted increasing my dosage, even though my doctor recommended an increase. The 10 mg dose has always done the job of eliminating my irrational feelings of sadness and isolation. I still get plenty of anxiety though, maybe more than before the pill. Then again, there are probably other factors influencing that, such as my choice to stay home and take care of my kid instead of work. My doctor wanted to raise my dosage when I was complaining about my PMS. I told her that I'd rather take a xanax or two the week I'm PMSing, rather than take a higher dosage of Lexapro for the entire month.
So. What has Lexapro done that is so bad?
First of all, along with lifting your otherwise low spirits, Lexapro also seems to smoosh down your highs. Eventually, you're just sailing along so smoothly that you've forgotten what it's like to be really happy or motivated. An emotional zombie.
It also does weird things to your sleep. When I first went on it, I had a few weeks of intensely vivid dreams. And I was sleeping more. Alot more. I used to lay awake many nights, staring at the ceiling, running through lists and conversations in my head, unable to turn-off my brain. On Lexapro, all that went away. A welcome relief. Lately though, I've been sleeping more and more. Like over 10 hours per night, having vivid dreams again in the late hours of the morning. Unable to fully wake up, I would start thinking about the dream I just had and would slip right back into it. So strange. Just the thought of the dream would send me back into REM sleep.
During a previous withdrawl attempt, my dreams started coming to me WHILE I WAS AWAKE. It was the strangest sensation. I'd be doing something somewhere, and suddenly I'd get a vivid picture in my head from one of my dreams. Seems some nerve firing (REM sleep brain activity?) was going on at the wrong time. This really scared me, as I began wondering how this stuff was rewiring my brain.
While on Lexapro, your libido goes bye-bye. Some people become incapable of orgasm. Could you imagine??!! Sometimes it is permanent. Holy crap.
I read an article somewhere (need to find it again and link it here) that listed some of the effects SSRIs had on rats. After prolonged dosage and subsequent brain autopsy, it seems that the rats had lost many of their serotonin receptors. LOST. M-O-O-N: That spells BRAIN DAMAGE. Is this permanent? How has my brain changed since taking this drug?
I really hope that there is still hope of recovery. Better yet, I hope that I have nothing to recover from. I won't know for at least a year. I understand that withdrawl is a nightmare, and some people just can't do it. The reactions are described as "intolerable." Yay. My doctor swore to me that Lexapro is totally safe and that there were very minimal side effects, even when coming off of it. I just wish I had the sense to look into it myself back then.
So. In order to hopefully ease the pain of going through this, I plan on weaning as slowly as possible. Starting at 10 mg, I'm going down to 7.5 mg for at least two weeks, then down to 5 mg and down from there. I might consider getting Lexapro in the liquid form if I need to reduce in smaller increments.
I am using this blog to track my progress, and will list everything that I feel could be relevant to the cause. I am also going to make a point of waking up after 8 hours of sleep.
5 comments:
I was on 30mg lexapro and 300 mg fluvox for 3 years i quit cold turkey which was stupid ive been off everything for 3 months and have been having weird eye symptoms. all of the other withdrawl symptoms are managable. My eyes seem like they are wide open all the time and like i have a blank stare on my face and for instance cant focus on the television ill be looking at people watching it with me thru my perifeal.. vision like im really paranoid or something. Iv'e searched alot recently and in the past on what problems i think i have and you seem like you are alot like me. My racing thoughts used to be crazy and the worst part was reviewing conversations or interactions that i had with other people even if it was the people im closest to. Ive learned that sitting around and allowing urself to worry is bad try to always stay busy and do posotive things in life and stay away from doing bad or negative things which will only make you feel worse and worry more. Trust me there are people out there with alot worse problems than we have and your only problem is with yourself because noone else thinks your weird or different unless you let your thoughts make you think so. WHILE you've been withdrawling what have your eyes been doing? can you write me back and explain because i think im gonna get back on lexapro like 10mg or something and see if these withdrawl symptoms go away because its frustrating me and making me wig out lol write back
I don't think my actual eyeballs did anything strange, but I did have horrible sensations in my head whenever I moved my eyes. It seemed all related to that hypersensitive buzzy feeling. Jolty.
If you need relief, the lexapro will probably give it to you. But if you want to get off of Lexapro, you need to bite the bullet and put up with it until it goes away. Taking Lexapro will only prolong your withdrawal.
Try taking Xanax and ibuprophen. And fish oil. Xanax and Ibuprophen took the edge off for me. Fish oil will help your brain to heal. Best wishes to you.
You have exactly, 100% described what has happened to me on Lexapro. I am so happy I found you! Though I know this is super old. I might actually steal some of this and use to start my own blog. Just to get my emotions out as I start my own fun journey to getting this crap out of my system.
This is unreal...I feel like I could have written this exact same post.
I am only 25 but have been on Lexapro for 7, yes, 7 years.
Cut my dosage down from 20mg to 10mg a week ago today. ROUGH WEEK. The stutter I picked up seems like the worst part so far.
Interested to read the rest of your posts!
Been on 10mg of lexapro since last November so about 8 months. Now I will say it was superb for the first few months definitely got me out of the hole that I had dug for myself. But last week I just said screw it, sick of the teeth grinding, jaw biting and the weight gain!! I have been reading about alternatives and natural alternatives at that so seven days ago I jacked them in. Im taking super epa fish oils and also 5htp. Now I havent taken lex in 7 days....about that and I feel ok.....Im sweating abnormally, Ive got a very fuzzy head and I went through an extreme episode of anger two days ago but I went into a room on my own and got over it. The nightmares tho are the worst last night I was lying in bed petrified of being on my own...I dont understand that one but all in all pretty happy. Im gonna keep going to my psych but the lexapro is something that although is great at the beginning but after 6 months it felt I had to move up a dose and that was my eye opener!! Screw that hope I do well......7 days off hopefully never back on!!
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